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3 day cycle has passed and I'm still a homeless. Now I am doubting if my positive thinking should be replaced by anxieties. As I asked around for help on the first day, everyone seem to have higher expectation of me and was truly surprised by the fact that I am not yet on the front line of a battlefield or something. To save my face, on the first day arriving here, I went to a backyard and stole clothing of my size at night in order to blend in. And that actually worked, I was allowed to attend a free food supply for the homeless. Thankfully no one homeless people here formed a turf or gang, where only certain people can access to the free food. The free food is sponsored by the local church praying to a certain god named Nyejus? Hejuice? Whatever, thank you for blessing oh Lord Juice for your follower who gave me the biological reason for surviving these past days. As for sleeping, I have been sleeping in a barn house meant for homeless people to shelter in. This shelter was spons
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Awaken

"Guess who's birthday is tomorrow?" Said someone I know I cared about, but who was that again? "I want to make arowarna hatchery and I....." Said someone who exposed me to the world of..... world of what? Pretty sure that was an important life changing moment of mine. "Did you know, I really really really really really really like you?" Said someone who confessed to me, who also happened to be the person I.....adore? love? care? Who was this person that I loved? "Did you write more comic about mushrooms with penis?" Said someone who I truly wish I could reunite again... but who was that? "I have always....." said someone that I trust my entire life with. All these questions began pouring up on top of my head. But who's voices are these? Why can't I tell their sources and why are they playing right now? All these voices turns into a horror as I began to feel that I have entered the state of oblivion. Why, do I feel
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The Light

Every time I breathe nitrogen, I always wonder when the moment of success or adventure will come to me. I studying abroad for most of my life is great, but after getting myself to read a lot of adventure stories, I always ended up becoming a loser who wish to be in a fantasy world. Everyday I wake up at ~10am to my alarm that plays the default Google Pixel soundtrack. It is not as traumatizing as the one that my mom used when I was still in highschool, as well as Samsung's default tune as well. Every time I hear someone playing the alarm tune, I get shiver at the back, having to recall all the painful moments I have to wake up early in the dawn.  In any case, I wake up everyday, walk sloppily to my mini fridge to have a ~ 3 mouthfull of almond milk, followed by a mouth full of premade cold brew. Then on I would start changing my clothes, pack my notebook into my bag, check my room about 9 times to make sure there's no electrical appliances that are left on, etc.  E
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