The Light

Every time I breathe nitrogen, I always wonder when the moment of success or adventure will come to me. I studying abroad for most of my life is great, but after getting myself to read a lot of adventure stories, I always ended up becoming a loser who wish to be in a fantasy world.

Everyday I wake up at ~10am to my alarm that plays the default Google Pixel soundtrack. It is not as traumatizing as the one that my mom used when I was still in highschool, as well as Samsung's default tune as well. Every time I hear someone playing the alarm tune, I get shiver at the back, having to recall all the painful moments I have to wake up early in the dawn. 

In any case, I wake up everyday, walk sloppily to my mini fridge to have a ~ 3 mouthfull of almond milk, followed by a mouth full of premade cold brew. Then on I would start changing my clothes, pack my notebook into my bag, check my room about 9 times to make sure there's no electrical appliances that are left on, etc. 

Every day I have to walk through the same blocks of buildings to arrive to my shuttle stop, where I would wait mindlessly for my free shuttle to my workplace. Sometimes I get there exactly when the shuttle reaches, but most times I reached when the shuttle just left, leaving me to always wait for the next cycle of shuttle. 

My work place is not very boring, as I am able to get to my field of interest to research on. Stem cell has always been a "wow" for me before and to be able to discover something new about them is somewhat adventurous as well. I usually work from 11am to 7pm just to come back to home where I would spend the rest of my night browsing Youtube or boss fight or skype my girlfriend.

Life isn't really that boring, but I do wish that one day I would be teleported to a world where I can use magic and destroy evils. Well, I do wish that my lover would be teleported along with me as well, my parents too probably. But if I were to be teleported to a new random world, would it is stupid if I start a new? I mean, people from fantasy world probably prefer the life I have currently, where no demons or monsters (aside humans ourself) exist and we do our own stuff. Well at least that's my life. But what about magic? We say magic because they are not explainable, but if magic is used like in many games or movies, where they dig deep in magic, shouldn't it be considered as science than magic? Well, in any case, I still wish to get to such a life.

As I my clock turns 1:30am, I am reminded of having to wake early and teach my undergrad that oddly only comes in the morning to learn basic protocol of my experiments. I closed all browser and games, shuts my computer down, before falling on top of my 3 inch thick bed. As I tuck myself in my blanket and closed my eyes tight, I began imagining a world of fantasy...

Ah yes, this is where I let my imaginations out. I gather all manga and game story lines in order to forge a world where I would love to live in....

Yes, I am a mage, holding a weapon that is a mix of staff and blade. In this world I am a Battle Mage, where instead of staying by the rear, I am at the front of the line to annihilate enemies along side swordsmen....

As I imagine my great battle against the evil of the world, my imagination starts fragmenting. When this happens, I knew at that moment that I am entering the early phase of sleeping. I let my imagination slips away and allow myself to enter the phase where I would randomly play some scene in my head that would usually indicate the dream that I may get.

Blank.

It's all just darkness this time. I guess my dream would play when I get to my deep sleep phase. Oh wells, whatever, please don't give me dreams like forgetting my exam or left USA without proper immigration works.... or the loss of my love ones as well.... Please let my dream this time be as epic as possible.

...

Hold up. Why am I feeling very conscious right now.  My body is numb as fuck, but my mind is working. Did I got into sleep paralysis again? Wait up, I don't usually know if I get sleep paralysis in dreams... That means my logical thinking side of my brain is functional as well. Am I lucid dreaming then? Let me try to imagine something.

"Summon me a table."

...

Nothing but darkness still. I lifted my arms, but I saw nothing but darkness as well. To be honest, I don't even know if I can even feel any limbs of mine. This is no normal sleep paralysis. Sleep paralysis is only when I am partially awaken with my eyes 30% open, but clearly I not awaken as I see even a speck of light. Also it's definitely not sleep paralysis as I feel no numbness in any parts of my body. It feels like as if I'm free...

Wait. Did someone killed me during my sleep and this is my afterlife? Is this death? I felt no pain though... Just what is happening to me?

...

Time passes and I can feel every second of it. Oddly enough, from questioning everything about my current state makes me mentally sleepy. Can I sleep?... You know what.... whatever, I'll "mentally sleep."

As I stopped thinking, I began to see bright light began to engulf me. A bright light? Was I supposed to walk towards the light? Can I go back? Did I really die in real life?

In an instance, I felt something that I always question if it would ever happen to me. I began to notice that I am slowing losing my capability of thinking.

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